Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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