2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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