My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
