Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
