it wasn't lemon gatorade
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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