you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
