I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize