he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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