I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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