Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize
