Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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