I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
