But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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