I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Come share oat with me in your robe
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
