ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
