You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
