This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize