you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize