so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
