My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
