I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
