..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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