I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
