I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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