I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
