My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i need some magic done to my vagina
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
