took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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