i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
