Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
