My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
