Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
