Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
