Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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