Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
