porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
barbara walters just said penis...
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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