My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
