I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
