I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
