So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
