It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize