great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Barsexuality is the new black.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
