Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
