it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
