Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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