he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I could fuck to npr.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
