I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
