There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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