and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
