sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
