Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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