i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
so much tequila, so little girl.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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