So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Randomize
