Having a random hookup so left but love u
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Sober January is a disaster.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
