OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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