I'm really into asian looking animals
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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