i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
my being single is dangerous.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
