Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
