So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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