I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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