I'm drive I can fine osifer
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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