Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
