put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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